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After Breaking Up: Getting Your Confidence Back

Staying Happy

One of the big issues that people write to me about all the time is how to get over a breakup.

Specifically, how to improve how they feel, or how to make themselves feel better when their ex-boyfriend is gallivanting around with other women.

The whole objective of this website is to give you some strategies and ideas about how you can successfully re-establish a relationship with your ex-partner, so hopefully you’ll find that very useful.

Taking care of yourself

But the object of this particular article is to consider how you can take care of yourself after a breakup, whether you’re looking to get back together with your ex-boyfriend or not.

To start with, if you aren’t gentle with yourself after you’ve broken up, who is going to be?

What this means is not being self-critical or self judgmental, cutting out negative self talk, and especially finding positive things with which you can affirm your desirability, your beauty, and your self-esteem.

The first and most obvious way to do this is stop dwelling on your failures, and to stop thinking about what you could have done differently.

The simple truth is that you obviously couldn’t have done anything differently, because had you been able to do so, you would have done.

We’re all tempted to think about the things we could have done when something’s gone wrong (like a relationship ending), rather than looking forward positively to the future.

inspirational text after a break up
Look on the bright side! In every adversity there lies the seed of a greater benefit.

So if you’re finding it difficult to look forward positively, try saying some affirmations into a mirror every day.

If you look at yourself long enough, you’ll see your beauty shining through, and at that point you can use affirmations suited to your particular circumstances:

  • Everything I need comes to me easily and effortlessly
  • I attract fulfilling and happy and worthwhile friendships
  • I have a job which I really enjoy, and abundant prosperity because of it
  • I experience lots of pleasure, happiness and fun in my life
  • I am my own person and I know how to live and what I want and the universe delivers it all to me
  • I accept and love myself deeply and completely exactly the way I am

So you can imagine, I’m sure, how to find affirmations that will suit your particular circumstances.

Believe me, affirmations are a powerful way of changing your self-image. 

Stay Healthy

Another thing you might find after breaking up is that you’re tempted to start binge eating, or eating things that aren’t good for you, or perhaps even drinking too much.

You might have difficulty sleeping, and turn to food for comfort, or you might have no desire to eat at all. You might crave unhealthy food after a breakup, and you might feel tempted to eat the kind of things that superficially make you feel better (chocolate, chips) but in fact do you harm in the longer term and don’t really satisfy you anyway. This is all about soothing the pain of separation.

Try to maintain a healthy diet, with all the foods which you know are good for you. And of course one of the great advantages when you’re able to do this, is that you’re soothing your wounded and unhappy inner child.

She’ll be feeling lonely and isolated, so an occasional treat, which won’t pile on the pounds is quite acceptable!

Stay Fit

If you can take exercise you’ll be in a much better space than you will be if you slob around in front of the TV mindlessly watching boring programs and trying to feel better, while actually feeling sorry for yourself.

Go out to the gym or go running, perhaps even take up something like yoga! This will really help you feel better. You’re out of the house, you’re doing something interesting, mixing with people, and getting some exercise – all of which which can release endorphins and another feel-good chemicals in the brain.

Besides which, taking up a new sport or indeed any new activity, and then losing yourself in it by deeply engaging with it, can be a great way of distracting yourself from the emotional pain of the break up; it can also increase your confidence.

This is a great time for personal reflection, i.e. thinking on a personal level about where you’re going in life and what you really want.

If your major goal is to get your ex back, then fine – but plenty of people need something that gives them a sense of purpose after a break up.

after a break up be assertive
Get what you want from life!

Being in a relationship with another person can easily make you lose sight of your goals and objectives, so after a breakup, you might wish to consider what you actually want from life, and make sure that you find a way of getting it.

If you really want to change your image, have a complete makeover – but don’t do this alone! Have a friend come along with you so that you can share the fun and experience something positive for yourself.

Obviously caring for yourself with treats like a massage, facials, and pedicures can be a great way of feeling better about yourself. Much better than eating endless amounts of chocolate or ice cream, anyway.

While these ideas sound like simple things (which they probably are) the reason we mention them here is because this is the kind of relationship advice which people offer after a breakup!

It’s all about nurturing yourself and giving yourself some pleasurable experiences to boost your self-esteem, help you feel better, and (whether or not you get back together with your ex), help you make a new start in life.

Change Your Psychology

More importantly than anything else, perhaps, is the changes you can bring about in your internal world – increasing your self-confidence and your self-esteem, getting some therapy or counseling, and focusing on the positives not the negatives after a break up.

That way, your self-esteem and overall outlook become more positive. Practicing gratitude and joy so that you focus on the positive rather than negative is also very helpful.

You might also take some action to deal with anything that’s holding you back in life; for example, things you accumulated during your relationship and which serve as a reminder of it.

Take A Time Out

You might want to have a timeout; a period of no-contact with your ex, so you don’t see them at all for a while. You might especially want to do that if your relationship ended badly!

But even if you’re thinking of getting your ex boyfriend back, you might want to take some time and space.

Above all, the important thing is to get out and have fun. Losing a relationship is like losing anything – you have to go through several stages of grief.

First there’s denial. Then there’s anger, followed by bargaining, depression and ultimately acceptance.

Going through this can be a growth experience. You can discover that losing your ex boyfriend isn’t a sign your life is over and you’ll be single forever. You can accept that you may not get him back, no matter what you would like to happen.

During the acceptance period, you may find it easiest to get out into the world and mingle with other people, but the point where you probably need to do that most is during the first stages of grief after your breakup.

And of course when you seek out a new relationship, be that with your ex boyfriend or with a new partner, remember there are some things you really can control!

For example, you don’t have to settle for the first man who comes along. If you’re trying to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you don’t have to settle for the same man you had when you broke up.

You may want more than your ex had to offer – I mean, you certainly broke up for a reason! If he hasn’t changed, maybe it’s important that any positive benefits you can get from this breakup do fully emerge into reality for you.

How To Get Your Guy Back! (Part 2)

Following on from here (Part1).

You want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back… well, here’s how.

This is Part 2 of How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.

Getting Back Together – Part 2

Tip #5 Initiate Contact With Your Guy

Someone has to make the first move when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back. That’d be you, then.

This isn’t a foolproof way to get your ex back, but as relationship advice goes, it’s not bad: you’re the one who has to initiate contact, regardless of how long it was since you and your man broke up.

And of course you can’t get back together over the phone – you have to meet in person, face-to-face.

So get together for a coffee – or something. But whatever you do, don’t have sex on your first “date”.

When you get back together, no matter how long you’ve been with each other before, things will be different. After all, you’ve broken up, and for many people that implies a lack of trust.

(Sure, you may well still feel fond of him. But to get back together you need more than fondness.)

And having sex with someone you don’t trust is always a bad idea.

couple making love after breaking up
Why get into this situation unless you trust a man?

And in any case, if it was his behavior or his attitude which caused the breakup, you really don’t want to sell yourself short. You want to know he has changed. Or is willing to change.

So while you can certainly be (sexually) provocative, and you can be sexy and seductive, don’t give in to his requests or demands that you go to bed together just for the sake of old times!

You see, you’re demonstrating how much you’ve improved – how desirable you are. You’re showing how much more worthy of a good relationship you are….

And along with that goes a whole slew of behaviors: maintaining your dignity, being polite, apologizing for anything you did, listening to what he has to say, and also respecting yourself by setting boundaries.

In this particular case, boundaries around going to bed – or rather, not going to bed.

And you’re also not going to take anything he dishes out which diminishes you, are you? So if he starts accusing you of doing things which caused you to break up, then you need to step in and stop him.

The focus here should be on the future.

Can you get back with an ex partner? Yes, of course you can, but you most likely won’t do it by going over the past. You won’t do it by holding grudges and trying to get back your ex.

Instead – adopt a more constructive strategy of making your ex-boyfriend want you back.

ex boyfriend and ex girlfriend
Your future should look very different to your past if you are to have a chance of getting your ex boyfriend back – and being happy!

To that end, even though it is your desire to be back in relationship with him which is driving the whole sequence of events, it’s you who must consciously decide when to take your ex back into relationship.

So, in the context of being better than you were before, you’re going to have to strike a balance between being sexy and provocative, showing him how different and better you are, and how well you’re doing on the one hand – and how little you actually need him in your life on the other.

This can be difficult – you might be feeling lonely and abandoned inside, but you don’t want to let him see that.

What you want him to see in you is the woman he wants to be in relationship with!

You need a fair bit of confidence and self-esteem to do this successfully.

And your guy might need time to appreciate the new you.

And you might want to make sure you don’t have him back in a relationship overnight. You need to make him work for it.

And if you do have sex, or rather, when you have sex, let him worry about you, and make him work to get you back. Let him wonder whether or not he’s made a mistake seeing other women.

Let him wonder what your motives, desires and wishes are.

In short, make him want you.

Like I said above, don’t talk about the past or why you broke up. Ask him about where he’s going, what he’s doing, and what’s new in his life.

If you want to talk about the past, refer only to the positive events that you experienced together.

At this stage it’s best to keep things light and easy – right now, deep emotional conversations about what happened, or about what you could or should have done differently, will most likely take you back to the place you were in when you broke up.

No matter how great the temptation, don’t talk about negative stuff.

Effectively what you’re aiming for here is a new relationship.

In fact, you could even see it as a new relationship with a new and different boyfriend. Like I said above, if he’s still the same man as he was when you broke up, getting back together’s probably not going to work too well.

6 How Important Is Sex In Making Up?

Extremely important. At least to your guy. Hopefully to you too.

how to make up after a break up
Loving sex is the foundation of all relationships – that, or trust, love, affection, respect, intimacy, mutual support…..

And bearing in mind how important physical intimacy is, it’s up to you to make sure that when sex eventually happens, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic for him.

Of course that means you need to work at making it good, perhaps even being a bit manipulative as you do so.

Remember the pleasure he experiences with you in bed may have a significant influence on whether or not he wants to get back together with you.

Like it or not, men are motivated to feel love by good sex. So if you can be a better lover than any woman he’s had since you split up (or ever in his life), then you may significantly increase your chances of getting him back into a relationship with you.

This means everything you do in bed has to be as good as you can make it.

Maybe you already know what excites him, but you might want to try something new. Maybe he asked for oral but you never got around to it. Maybe he’d have liked you to talk dirty but you felt too prudish. Perhaps your body issues meant sex under the covers with the lights off…. well, how about shedding a few inhibitions?

In short, whatever you need do to woo him, to seduce him, and to make him realize in his joy at the moment of sexual climax that it’s only you who can satisfy him, DO IT!

(With dignity, of course. Don’t prostitute yourself.)

That’s the essence of your feminine power as a woman… your sexuality. It is your feminine power which can give you the edge in getting your boyfriend back.

You may realize, by now, that there’s a responsibility resting on you to make sex work for him. If you don’t really enjoy sex, or you don’t how to make sex good for a man, then take some advice from a counselor, your best friend, or your inner goddess.

You can’t underestimate how important sex is in a loving relationship – and the better the sex, the more likely that your ex-boyfriend will wish to come back into relationship with you.

After all, if his physical needs are satisfied, why would he go anywhere else?

But how soon should you have sex with him?

Well, you’re a woman, so you can work on the strategies and schemes that women have employed for generations to woo and seduce their men – no matter that he is a “new” partner, and he’s also been your boyfriend in the past.

If this feels like a new relationship for both of you, then you’ll naturally employ all the strategies and techniques you intuitively know about to seduce him and win him over.

7 Don’t Let Him Get Away With Being The Same Man He Always Was!

When you’ve had a few dates, and it looks like everything is going well, and you think you’re going to get your ex-lover back, you need to just pause and check.

You know how, in the early days, any relationship  can appear to be wonderful and romantic and loving.

Until, that is, after a few weeks, reality dawns, and couples begin to see each other as they truly are. (This is the end of idealisation.)

Well, the same can happen here if you’re not careful.

When you’re building a relationship – no matter that this is a relationship with the man you’ve already known and loved and split up with – you have to do all those things which help you grow and develop together both individually and as partners in relationship.

Respecting, communicating, honoring, giving time to each other, supporting, loving…. and a whole lot more.

If you start behaving like enemies, neither of you is going to benefit from re-establishing a relationship and your reconciliation.

There are several things you can do which help relationship renewal to go smoothly.

First, make sure you don’t believe you own him (in any sense whatsoever) – and if he behaves as though he owns you, then ditch him.

By the way, jealousy is the clearest sign that a man thinks they have some proprietorial right to you, your body, or the right to invade your boundaries.

From the other perspective, the one thing that disturbs a man more than anything else is a woman treating him as though she owns him, especially by not respecting his particularly male need to protect his personal space and boundaries.

Another thing you need to be doing is making sure that you’re working at the relationship all the time.

In other words, doing things that give you the best chance of making up and staying together.

What does it all add up to?

Well, you need to put in a lot of effort to sustain your relationship. You need to research techniques about how to get your ex boyfriend back. You need to live them. In fact, you need to live to your highest potential.

Only then will you live in a great relationship with your man – a relationship which makes your heart sing with joy.

Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back (Relationship Advice For Women)

Every year, thousands of women break up with their boyfriends only to find themselves feeling desperately lonely and unhappy.

And of course if you’re feeling like that, you’d do anything to get him back, wouldn’t you?

But this is exactly the time when you need to be asking yourself whether getting him back is the right thing to do. In fact, the best question you can ask yourself right now is this: “Is he really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?”

In short, is he good enough for you?

Or do you only want your guy back because he made you feel good about yourself?

These are important questions to ask yourself, but they’re not the only ones you need to answer before you start trying to get your ex boyfriend back in your life.

Ex boyfriend recovery
What do you want from your life, and your ex ?

You see, although you can discover how to get your ex back in 90% of break-ups, you should really only do that if you’re completely convinced your boyfriend and you really are made for each other.

Don’t forget many breakups happen for a very good reason – they’re a sign that two people aren’t in the right partnership, that you and he don’t belong together in the long term.

Before You Even Approach Your Ex

Before you do anything to approach your ex-boyfriend, you must start behaving rationally.

I’m sure you’re not doing anything crazy, but if you were, let’s say, stalking him on Facebook, sending text messages every few minutes, sending him emails every day, you’d need to stop doing that and consider the following questions instead:

What was it that made you fall for each other in the first place – and does that still apply?

How much do you really have in common – and are moving in the same direction, closer together, or further apart?

Was he outgrowing you emotionally or were you outgrowing him emotionally?

How did you really feel about him? I mean, really feel about him, deep down?

And why did the relationship go wrong? Did you start taking each other for granted? 

Did you stop working at maintaining love – or did you give up hope because he wasn’t interested in you?

Can you honestly say that your life would be better if you found out how to get your ex back then it would without him?

You need to answer some more questions as well….  in fact, you need to work out a couple of very important issues.

The first thing is, do you really want him back because you know it will make you happy?

The second question is, do you want him back because you feel lonely and sad, all the while knowing deep down inside, that it won’t work out because you’re just not right for each other?

You can understand, I’m sure, that in the second case no matter how much information you read about how to get your ex boyfriend back in your life, it ain’t gonna work out – and that means it’s not worth even trying to get him back.

Video – why do we cheat?

(Ignore this if cheating was not an issue in your break up!)

Now, If You Really Want To Get Him Back…

Assuming you’ve really thought this through, and you’re convinced he’s the right person for you, what can you do to make your old boyfriend believe in the goodness, rightness and worth of your relationship?

In other words, how can you get your ex back and into a new relationship?

1 Be Better Than You Were Before

Let’s get to the nitty-gritty here: we’re talking about being more desirable. Hotter. Sexier. More of a catch.

You already know how much of a motivator good sex can be for a guy, and you know how much an attractive woman can motivate any guy.

So if you can be that woman, you have a massive lever to get your guy back into relationship with you.

Making up and breaking up.
Just how do you make him want no-one but you? Read on to find out….

You should aim to look so good that when he sees you, he thinks “Wow, she is amazing – and I want her!”

Sure, maybe this sounds shallow, but it’s true. A lot of guys think in a very basic way (i.e. a sexual way). 

But more importantly you also need to remember that when a guy has good sex with a woman it opens him up to his loving feelings for her. Yes, sex is a route to love for a guy. And…..

….I’m not suggesting you sell yourself short in your attempt to get your ex back by prostituting yourself…. and you can work this one out for yourself, I’m sure. We’ll come back to sex in a moment.

2 Apologize For Your Part In The Break Up

Couples who apologize to each other for what they’ve done to hurt each other have much better and longer lasting relationships than couples who don’t.

So the first thing is you need to apologize for everything you did which contributed to the relationship breaking up.

You know, this might just be a matter of swallowing your pride, and admitting the things you know about yourself – and perhaps discovering some things you don’t yet know about yourself – which get in the way of you having a good relationship with a man.

These are the obstacles to a successful relationship which lie in your personality. Come on, we all have them.

Now, although you obviously can’t change the past, you can apologize for it and then do things differently in the future.

So please don’t beat yourself up over the mistakes you’ve made in the past – that isn’t going to get your ex back.

All good relationship advice will tell you the same thing: if you want to know how to get your ex back, start by admitting the mistakes you made, forgiving yourself for those mistakes, and then apologizing to your ex partner.

3 Keep Focused! No Random Dudes In Bed!

man and woman making up after a break up
Some random dude in your bed won’t make you feel better – at least, not in the long term.

We all know about the bounce-back effect after a relationship’s broken up. “She’s on the rebound.” Oh dear. Desperation is in the air….

And sure enough, it can be helpful to us all if we find a man who can console us, give us physical affection, make us feel better.

But really, if you want to get your ex back because you’ve decided he’s the guy is the person you need to spend the rest of your life with, then taking some other guy to bed, or posting stupid drunken pictures online of yourself making out with some random guy, isn’t exactly going to help your case for a new relationship with your ex partner.

In fact your ex boyfriend can be hurt and may hate you even more if he sees this. He’s not likely to appreciate that you’re in pain, and you need to feel better. He’s just going to see you in a bad light. (The same is true in reverse, of course.)

So if you really want to get your ex boyfriend back, if you really want to repair your relationship, then the first thing you must do is get over your breakup.

You see, getting back together with an ex isn’t difficult – like I said above, it can happen in 90% of cases – but it does require you to be in a certain place – emotionally stable. Clear about what you want. Clear about how you can get it. Speaking of which….

4 Change – However You Need To Change

So you’re serious about your ex. You want to fix your broken relationship. You want to make your ex want you back.

Sure, you can read plenty of relationship advice and articles on how to get over a break up on the Internet. And you can read a hundred articles on “10 ways to get your ex back” by a hundred different authors if you want.  You can find out why men and women have different expectations. And so on, and on, and on.

But in truth, first and foremost, you are going to have to do something. You are going to have to change.

Let me repeat that:  you are going to have to change.

Some people claim Einstein said that you can’t solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it.

But whoever said that, it’s absolutely true.

If you go back into a relationship with the same person and continue doing exactly the same things you did before, in the same way, the relationship’s going to go exactly the same way – downhill, fast.

So you need to have a clear idea of what caused the breakup in the first place. You need to know what you did that sent him packing. And then, whatever lies at the root of that behavior, you need to work on it – and do things differently in the future.

Were you bad tempered, demanding, needy and cranky, nagging, invading of his boundaries, unfaithful, or bad in bed? 

“Yes” to some of those, maybe? So what you do next is fix the problems you were causing.

You might think your guy needs to fix a few problems, too…. And of course he does. But the problem is he may not want his ex girlfriend back in the way you want your ex boyfriend back!

Which means you have to make the first contact, you have to initiate the process of reconciliation.

You can do this by showing him that the way you are going to be in relationship is much better. Very much better. So much better that he wants to be with you… and you alone. That way you may inspire change in him. Hopefully.

But if you don’t try, what chance have you got?

Which brings us on to….part 2! Which you can find here.

How To Get Your Ex Back

A Common Problem

It seems to be one of the most popular questions on the Internet net at the moment – “How do I get my ex back?” or “How can I get back together with my ex?”

There are many issues here – first of all, why would people break up and then (apparently in great numbers!) decide they made a terrible mistake and want to get back together with their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend?

Why do people NOT find the courage to strike out, accepting that they broke up for a very good reason, and now is the time to find a new relationship?

All great questions, but not what we’re going to answer here.

How To Get Your Ex Back

Perhaps you’ve made a decision to get back together with your ex because you’ve realized that the boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you split up is really the person you now want to be with – perhaps even for the rest of your life.

What steps, in this situation, can you take to get back together with your ex? In other words how can you get back together with the boyfriend or girlfriend who you dumped or were dumped by?

Here goes: a step-by-step on how to get your ex back, aka a guide to relationship repair.

Getting Back Together

Step one

Take time to reflect on what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Make sure you really do want to get back with your partner because you believe that he or she is the right person for you, rather than because you are frightened of being alone, or trying to avoid shame and humiliation from others.

Work out what went wrong first time around, and think of ways in which you can avoid the same thing happening again. It stands to reason that if you go back into a relationship with exactly the same mindset that you had before, it isn’t going to work any better now than it did last time.

Just why do you want your ex back?
Just why do you want your ex back?

Step two

You need to find a way of showing your ex partner that you have reflected on why the relationship ended, and that you are prepared to do something about it.

You need to show him or her you are willing to change, and you have to show a thoughtful response to things that have happened in the past. That way your ex-partner should be more willing to reconsider the relationship – restarting the relationship, that is.

Getting back together with your ex requires emotional maturity on your part and also on your ex’s part. It requires good communication, and that in turn requires you to admit what you might have done wrong that contributed to the breakup.

Let’s face it: if you want to get an ex back, then you need to know how to do it. Read on.

Step three

Whatever you do, don’t put pressure on your ex partner, or pursue him or her with a high level of energy immediately after the breakup. Your ex-partner will require space and time away from you to re-establish their own emotional and intellectual stability.

Therefore if you start calling, texting, or even appearing in person, or indeed, trying to insert yourself into his or her life on Facebook too soon, you are likely to irritate them, and convey a feeling of desperation, neither of which are going to be helpful to your aim of re-establishing the relationship.

In fact, you could well persuade your ex girlfriend or ex-boyfriend that instead of getting back together with you, the thing they need to do most urgently is run in the opposite direction.

The best of all possible worlds is if your ex-partner comes to you.

Step four

Take time for yourself, and do things that you enjoy with people whom you like. You can reconnect with who you are if you do this, and you can avoid the pressure that comes from feeling beholden to another person.

You should have a strong sense of self that will sustain you whether you do get back together with your partner or not. And really, I suppose, in the end what this comes down to is the old advice you’ve heard so many times before: you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.

How To Get Your Ex Back

Step 1

Take responsibility for what went wrong the first time around.

If you can, sit down with your ex and explain to them that you have understood where you went wrong, what you did wrong, and that you are eager to avoid doing the same thing in the future.

You might say for example, “I know I never paid you enough attention and I never listened to you and I didn’t take any notice of your needs.” Whatever it is, don’t just tell them what you’ve understood about yourself, tell them what you will do in the future to make things better.

dumped partner wanting her ex back
Help, I need somebody, help!

Step 2

If you can, focus on moving forward rather than going backwards.

It’s all very well saying that you want to get back together, but the point is you broke up for a reason, and you have to ask yourself a very deep and important question: did you break up because were fundamentally incompatible or because you and your ex didn’t have good enough relationship skills?

You see, you don’t want to spend your life giving up your needs and personality to satisfy the needs of somebody with whom you are basically incompatible.

Trying to establish exactly what did go wrong can be difficult. You might ask yourself questions: “I felt like you got annoyed with me whenever I wanted to spend time alone, and I think it might have been because you’re too dependent on me. What can we do about that?”

(In case you didn’t realize, I should add that’s not entirely serious suggestion about how to get your ex back, but it does give you an idea of the kind of thing that you might try.)

Step 3

You need to know exactly what you are trying to do.

So if both of you have decided to restart a relationship, have you got a clear plan about how you’re going to make it work this time around?

Have you found out what each of you wants from the relationship that you weren’t getting before?

Can you tell each other what you need from each other without being accusatory, blaming, or being triggered into a state of anger, fear or sadness?

Step 4

Talk, and talk again, and then talk some more.

Whether you know it or not, women like to talk things through, while men like to think things through.

Men like to come up with solutions to problems and they don’t like lengthy emotional discussions.

But the whole point about being in a relationship with another person is that you are going to be able to meet their needs in some way, and they are going to be able to meet yours.

To sum it up: when you want to get your ex back, you will need good emotional communication, the ability to compromise, a willingness to accept difference in the other, and an ability to extend yourself into a place of behavior, thoughts, and feelings that may not be a natural one for you to inhabit.

How To Tell If You Should Breakup or Not

If you read around the Internet, you’re going to find a lot of websites with a formula for knowing whether or not you “should” break up. Usually it’s a simple question: are you happy or are you unhappy?

But as you might be suspecting by now, it isn’t really as simple as that. If it were, you wouldn’t be reading this article, and you wouldn’t be wondering whether or not to break up (or maybe to try and text your ex back!)

After all, the reason anyone wants their ex back is because they feel they made a mistake in breaking up.

And that means you weren’t certain whether you wanted to be with them or not. (Unless of course you have broken up and doing so has given you clarity and now you see – oh so clearly – that you really do want to be with them for the rest of your life… an idea which I find somewhat unlikely. If you know that now, you’d probably have known it before you broke up as well. But if that is the case, you can try Texting Your Ex Back – see the right hand column of this page for details of hwo the right approach to conenction via SMS messaging and cell phone contact can win your ex back.)

Advice On Not Breaking Up

But the problem is that although there’s lots of advice on how to text your ex back all over the Internet, there isn’t a great deal of information available on how you can decide whether you want to break up in the first place.

To help you, I found seven questions on the Internet which look helpful, perhaps even helpful enough to save your relationship. So I’m giving them to you right now, so that you don’t have to engage in all the palaver of texting your ex back after you’ve broke broken up and found out it’s all been a terrible mistake.

First of all: why do you want your ex back?

In the early stages of a relationship, as you know, both boyfriend and girlfriend feel special because their partner seems to have no other interest but them. As the shine (it’s called idealisation) wears off, reality can set in. Neither partner is seen as a really unique and special individual any more. Instead, you both become ordinary human beings who can see each other for who you are, complete with all your failings.

But of course each of us wants to be really special: we want to be part of a couple where nobody else matters.

So is that why you want to get back with your ex? To feel special and wanted? And if you don’t feel special, can you honestly say that your partner no longer makes any effort to try and make you feel special? Or do you expect too much?

how to get back after a break up - text your ex back
Do you treat your partner as special? What would it take to make YOU feel really special?

Question 2

Next, are there any circumstances which could have contributed to the breakup or impending break up?

In other words, are you under stress in a way that you wouldn’t normally be, and could that stress have put more pressure on you, to the point that your relationship broke up? If you think you can find someone who can withstand stress better than your current partner or your ex-partner, then you’re might be disappointed – stress is a part of life, and none of us really know what we can cope with until it hits.

So if it’s stress that made you break up (or is making you think of breaking up), did you make any effort to try and find a way of getting over the stress and staying together?

And if you get back together will the same thing happen again?

Question 3: This is a difficult question – will you miss your ex if you separate?

I mean, how do you know this before you split? But knowing the answer is particularly important if you’re getting a lot of your confidence, safety and security from being with your partner.

And by the way, that works both ways – a woman can hold a safe space for a man, just as a man can offer a safe space for a woman. So will you miss the safety and security that your partner offers? And if you get back together again, will you feel that once more?

Question 4:  Are you just taking your partner for granted?

Perhaps that’s something you need to look at right now, before you break up, so you can establish whether or not you’re the one who might be contributing to the tension in the relationship?

A very valid reason for separating from a partner is your personal growth. The sad thing is that two partners rarely grow at the same rate; so if you have an ambition, a dream, or a desire to be more than you currently are, and your partner doesn’t, then there’s a tension between you which might not be resolvable. Of course it’s important to actually put those ideas to your partner to see how he or she reacts – for all you know, they might want to join in with your plans. Such communication is the basis of intimacy.

Before you break up on the basis that your partner is a stick-in-the-mud and you aren’t, why don’t you just tell them what you want to do and see how they respond? That will be a real clue as to whether or not they’re on the same page of life as you!

Intimacy and break up
Ongoing intimacy is important in relationship.

Q5: Are You Experienced in Relationship?

Some people get together with a  partner without much previous experience of the world or other people.

If you’re thinking about breaking up, and your previous experience of relationships is quite limited, then it’s probably going to help you to find out more about the world by breaking up now and getting more experience of life, the universe and everything. If, of course, you don’t believe you’ve met your soul mate.

You see, deep compatibility in terms of core-values is fundamentally important to a relationships long-term chance of success.

And when you’re not compatible, breaking up isn’t the end of the world, especially if you’re confident enough to know that there are plenty more fish in the sea – and that you really are good enough to attract one of them!

Remember too, relationships just go through turning points and phases – you won’t feel wonderful all the time in any relationship because that’s just not how life works. People get distracted, people have issues, people fight, people make up. The question is whether or not, at a basic deep level, you value your partner, respect them, and love them?

Oh yes, and do you like them?

Question 6 Is Life Easier Together?

An interesting question few people ever ask themselves is whether or not their partner makes their life better and easier, or worse and harder?

Making things better can be done in subtle ways, support, empowering (and the opposite is undermining and disempowering). So what’s the overall tone of your relationship. Does your partner have your best interests at heart?

Only you can answer these questions, but they form a fundamental basis for deciding whether or not you should split up in the first place. Of course, if you don’t split up, you’ll never need to be trying to Text Your Ex Back, or trying to find out how to get them back.

Tips For Saving A Relationship

Tips For A Better Relationship

I found some wonderful tips on how to save a relationship on the Huffington Post site.

These were written by a relationship coach, who starts off by saying we are very quick to find our partner inadequate and even quicker about deciding to dump them.

But most of us who do this will then go on to find a new partner who has exactly the same emotional issues as the previous one, so that we are not in a better situation after the relationship has broken up and we have moved on…..

Video – How to survive a break up

If you take the view that your partner has been given to you “by” the universe so that you can learn something essential for your well-being and growth – and perhaps their well-being – then in a way it’s your duty to stay together and work on the relationship so you help each other grow and develop emotionally.

And of course this is a philosophical point of view which suggests any relationship  worth keeping involves emotional work – and the payoff can be very rewarding, because you will find you have a depth of connection which is probably unimaginable at the moment. And that is profoundly affirming and rewarding.

But What Does It Mean To Me?

Starting from the idea that you can “sort through” people until you find somebody who is absolutely ideal for you is simply naive – there is no such person.

Even when you think you’ve found your ideal soulmate, living together or being in relationship together will very quickly dispel that illusion – as you may well already know!

And trying one relationship after another, without taking any relationship advice, or indeed any breakup advice, is just going to lead you into disappointment.

While it’s tempting to believe that your particular relationship is in some way different or special, the truth of the matter is that you are not different to anyone else, and you will not have stumbled into some kind of fairytale relationship….

… which means that if you find yourself on the verge of breaking up, you might wish to decide NOT to break up. Instead, you might make the decision that your relationship is worthwhile and deserves some work.

1 Find out why you’re together

The idea purely random chance got you into relationship with somebody is extremely unlikely! So you can start by asking yourself what drew you to this person? What kind of qualities did they have that you found desirable?

Do you still find those qualities desirable? What qualities in your partner have you not previously appreciated?

You can open a dialogue together – if you’re willing to do so – to explore what you love about your partner and what your partner loves about you.

In the process, if you’re willing to hear it, you can receive constructive criticism, suggestions and information which can help you develop in areas of personality where you are currently weak.

How to stop a relationship breaking up
Hard but necessary – learning from your partner…

2 Establish good communication

And of course it’s inevitable that when partners try to communicate their fundamental truths about each other, things may go wrong – for none of us have learned how to communicate in the “right way” – that is to say, with LOVE.

And what that means is to Listen by Observing your partner, by Verifying that you’ve picked up their meaning, and Empathising with what they’re saying.

Good communication is probably mostly about silence and space – not “jumping in” to respond to your partner or, worse, reacting to your partner with an emotional response without really having heard what they’re trying to say.

The reason this happens, of course, is because we feel attacked and immediately respond to that sensation or perception with defensiveness. It can be very difficult indeed to open ourselves up and make ourselves vulnerable to criticism, particularly if you have sensitivities left over from childhood.

But to make this process easier, you can stay away from emotional conversations when you’re both stressed, particularly when you’re both tired and/or emotional – such as at the end of a long workday!

By putting the value of your partner’s feelings above the value of your ego, you’ll find that communication becomes much less contentious. And while these things are easy to say, they are not always so easy to do – which means practice is essential; perhaps getting help with having stressful conversations would be helpful.

How to get your ex back
This is probably the wrong way to converse with your partner!

A deep conversation can go to the roots of understanding the relationship in its most profound way, and certainly leads to a feeling of intimacy and connection.

It may be necessary to revisit the same subject many times before you fully understand each other, before you actually get down to the core of the matter.

But without doing this, you may never understand what your partner is trying to say, and if you don’t understand that, you may never understand your partner either.

3 Some relationships become mired in heavy communication

One way to get over this is to actually do light-hearted things together – visit special places, revisit those places you knew a long time ago, or perhaps simply take time for each other with a weekend away. Then, you can revisit or “practice” the skills of romance with your partner – just as you did when you first met.

It’s well worth doing things like this together because the excitement of a shared or new experience produces hormones which promote emotional bonding. And it doesn’t have to be anything major; simply sitting together in a park watching your children play can be very bonding and intimate, and produce a deep feeling of love for each other.

Here, action is necessary – it’s no use just talking about doing these things – you actually have to do them!

4 Sometimes outside influences affect our relationships and make them toxic. Avoid them.

Your primary responsibility and loyalty in a relationship is to yourself and your partner.

Any loyalty to your friends or family which betrays that loyalty is striking at heart of the relationship. In any event, unless somebody is actually standing in your shoes, how could they possibly know the answers to your problems?

(I draw distinction here between mentoring and counseling as a friend and the much more pernicious “advice giving” and “tittle tattle” which many people seem to indulge in.)

A much better way forward is for you to open the doorways to communication with your partner, and establish an emotionally connected relationship with them.

texting your ex back
I guess you find out how much you loved someone when they’ve gone!

5 Forgiveness is everything.

Well…. in fact forgiveness is probably not everything, but it certainly is a great deal.

That’s why we’ve heard so much about it in recent years. Some people think it means putting yourself in a “one-down” position, but the truth of the matter is that forgiveness does not mean forgetting.

No, it means letting go of the emotional rage, anger and bitterness you hold towards your partner, for these are emotions which definitely stand between you and a wholesome relationship.

And yes, there needs to be some kind of emotional resolution for you about the wounds you feel you’ve suffered at the hands of your (ex) partner. You might find this helpful if you’re interested in the subject forgiveness.

6 Don’t keep secrets.

Of course you don’t need to divulge every minute aspect of your life to your partner – all of us have certain things we need to keep to ourselves to maintain our integrity to ourselves and in our relationship. But honesty is vital in any relationship, and living a life of authenticity and integrity can help too.

7 Have clear boundaries

boundaries vs merging
Merging with a loved one can be very pleasurable. But so can maintaining separate and clear boundaries.

If you don’t really know what boundaries are, then it’s worth getting some help and information from a counsellor or therapist.

Boundaries are about maturity, about being in the world in a safe way – safer for yourself, and safer for others.

You only have to walk down a street where people are drinking late at night to understand what a lack of boundaries means!

Over-rigid boundaries produce a rigid, very defensive personality, whereas loose boundaries produce somebody who is a pushover and exploitable by others.

Clear firm boundaries speak of self-respect, and establish that you know who you are and what you’re going to tolerate or accept in life. With clear boundaries, any relationship is more defined and healthier than without them, and it allows you to learn and grow by finding the place where your partner’s limits exist – and the same, of course, is true in reverse.

be a person with a clear identity
Stop being your partner’s appendage and become a person in your own right.

There are many other relationship tips we could give you, but in essence they all come down to one thing: tolerance and communication – and perhaps those qualities, as well as mutual respect, are the basis of true love that lasts a lifetime.

If you don’t really understand these concepts then please get some help and advice from somebody who is qualified to take you on a journey to a more loving place – counsellor, therapist, Minister…. Whatever suits your particular way of being.

*I found some wonderful tips  on how to save a relationship here.

How To Get Your Ex Back

You know that things are going badly…

….when arguments and silences, disconnection and parallel lives, begin to inhabit your relationship.

But you don’t want to break up, because of all the time that you’ve invested in your relationship, and who knows? You might even still love your partner.

So before you break up, there are several things you need to do to save the relationship. That way, you save the effort of trying to get your ex back!

You can read about our tips for saving a relationship here.

And If You Have Broken Up

If you’re in the unfortunate situation of having broken up, read on to see our therapist’s advice on what you can do to get your ex back.

The best ways to get your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend back…..

First of all, you have to remain rational.

100-1 (4)How do you feel when you get a text or an email, or you see a Facebook message, or some other indication of your ex occupying space in your social environment? Do you feel a sinking sense of fear, with excitement, perhaps?

Or do you simply feel anger? Perhaps you feel excitement and glee, because this might be the start of a new renewal of your relationship?

Whatever, the first thing you have to do in the face of all these emotions is to remain rational and calm. And you have to take things slowly. Perhaps it was plunging too quickly into the relationship in the first place which did the damage for you last time around!

But whether it was or it wasn’t, one of the things you really need to know is that all the unresolved problems in your relationship will come back at you again – unless both of you have done some serious emotional growth work in between breaking up and getting back together.

Video – Relationship Therapy

So here are some questions that really need to be answered “yes” before you get back together.

And they need to be answered in the affirmative by BOTH of you…. But then, you knew that didn’t you?

1 Plan ahead so that when things get difficult you have some way of dealing with them.

You see, the problem is that unless you make some effort to focus on the areas which act as emotional triggers, simply wanting to be back with your partner (maybe because you feel lonely) isn’t going to change anything.

In fact, if you feel disappointed that they’re no different this time around than they were the last time, getting back together can be even worse than it was the first time. You will have more disappointment to deal with….

If you’re getting over a breakup, to go back into the same territory can be challenging.

That’s why you really need to have some strategy to deal with, if not eliminate, the anger, the shock, and the sadness – not to mention the fear – you’ll feel if or when you realize your ex hasn’t fundamentally changed from who they were!

Will it ever be the same again? No - it will be much better!
Will it be the same again, with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, second time around? No. Why should you put up with that, if it can be much better with someone new?

And to be honest, if you try to save your marriage, or save your relationship, you might well have to do some personal growth work – that could mean seeing a therapist together, or perhaps doing shadow work, but it certainly means exploring the issues which caused you to split up in the first place.

Ask yourself honestly – are you ready to do that? Are you ready to do whatever it takes to bring your ex back and to live happily ever after?

2 As you know, a lot of us wear masks which hide the real self we feel and believe ourselves to be, deep down inside.

Sometimes we think we’re socially unacceptable in some way or we feel we’re not good enough, or we aren’t lovable, or perhaps  even that we’re bad. Most people believe they aren’t as beautiful, intelligent, clever, self-confident, or whatever, as the next person. It’s the human condition…..

Do you show all of yourself to your partner?
Do you show all of yourself to your partner?

But wearing a “mask” into any relationship (where the essence of success is openness and honesty) is a recipe for disaster.

That’s not to say we should reveal every aspect of ourselves, but it’s certainly necessary to be open and honest with your partner to show them who you really are, and for them to show you who they really are. In other words, what this amounts to is no trickery, no lies, no deceit, and no games. Otherwise, what chance of success do you have?

Now, are you willing to be ruthlessly authentic and honest with your partner?

3 Are you committed to each other? Are you committed to each other enough to stick together so that you can win her back or win him back?

There has to be some kind of commitment that you’re going to stay together for a while (or permanently) while you work on the changes that are necessary for you to rebuild a harmonious and loving relationship.

You need some kind of contract or agreement which is actually a statement of your readiness to stay in the relationship and hold hands, both physically and metaphorically, when the inevitable issues between you arise, and particularly when you trigger each other into a vulnerable state.

4 Are you both prepared to take it slowly, and to really work at rebuilding the relationship?

It’s probably worth you doing this if you really love your partner or somewhere deep down you believe this person might be your soul mate. Then of course it’s worth rebuilding the relationship and finding out how to get the relationship advice that will bring you back together.

But there are traps here: if it was just sex that kept you together in the first place, you may find that the desire to jump into bed to reconnect is very strong, but really, is that going to deal with the issues which broke you apart in the first place?

Going on dates while you learn more about each other, hoping to see each other with eyes that are not blinded by “the scales of infatuation” is a very worthwhile exercise. After all, you might want to be friends before you become lovers, and you might want to be lovers before you try for the soulmate status!

A good question to ask yourself is how safe it feels to reveal yourself with your ex partner – if you find you’re hiding parts of yourself, or not completely trusting them, then your choice is simple – allow the breakup to go ahead and find a new partner, or get a commitment to work on the difficulties between you that cause you to feel this way.

5 Do you have the same goals for the relationship?

Video – goals in a relationship

The question here, really, is whether or not you both want the same thing in the long run. For example, does one of you want to get married and one of you has no intention of doing that EVER!

Or suppose he wants children, and you don’t. These are fundamental differences which really need to be examined. Not many people who are way apart on important issues like these can establish a successful long-term relationship without one of them either losing their hopes and aspirations or having their heart broken.

You need to be at least on the same page, have the same expectations, and generally speaking want to move in the same direction in life.

The problem is that most people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they spend planning their lives! So sit down and talk about what you want!

If you want to avoid a breakup in the future, and if you want to get your ex back so you don’t breakup again, first you must find out whether there’s enough common ground between the two of you for your relationship to work long-term.

6 Accept that human relationships are never perfect.

It’s extraordinary to me that some people really seem to think that just by getting back together with their ex,  they will mysteriously learn the lessons they needed to know in the first place to feel close and connected with their partner.

In fact the truth of the matter is that we all come from an emotionally wounded place in childhood – which means that during our childhood nothing was perfect and there were emotional wounds inflicted on us,  no matter how well-intentioned our parents may have been! And these wounds need to be dealt with for us to grow into emotional maturity and equip us to be in relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, a lover, or a spouse.

From years of working with people in relationship, I know there are very few men and women who are truly prepared to do the emotional exploration and repair work necessary to overcome their wounds and in the process find out how they can get their ex back.

The good news is that this doesn’t have to be big scale work. It only needs to be something which explores mutual understanding and empathy, the kind of work from you which can move forward together. This could, for example, simply be something like going to see a relationship counselor together to discuss what it is that “triggers” you and causes the fights.

Unless you do this you might find you’re not going to get over your breakup and you’re not going to get back with your ex.

Understanding each other is essential for a good relationship.
Understanding each other is essential for a good relationship.

And that’s true even if you know you made a mistake in breaking up.

Everybody has a level of tolerance for fights, disagreements and arguments, and it’s better to do some emotional work so they are reduced in number and the impact of them is much less, rather than to let them fester in the relationship simply because you don’t know what to do about them.

7 Accept that relationship breakup may be the right thing for you.

Just because you feel a large amount of pain at the ending of your relationship and the loss of your loved one doesn’t necessarily mean you were wrong to breakup.

There’s a theory in psychology that we come together to heal the wounds, resentments and issues of the past (i.e. childhood) , and if we don’t heal them in one relationship we will move into another relationship, taking the same stuff with this. Often the person we meet will also give us the opportunity to heal these emotional wounds.

So you may as well do it in your current relationship as in the next one!

And doing so can give you a true sense of value and worth, and perhaps also a sense of mutual appreciation which will grow into true love.

But if that’s not going to happen, you may have to accept that sometimes a breakup is the only thing that’s going to allow you to move forward and truly show who you are to the world.

In fact, sometimes a breakup is not an opportunity to get your ex partner back, but a chance to have a NEW relationship which will really make you feel good – perhaps even the relationship your heart desires.

So the act of breaking up can allow some people to grow as individuals, perhaps discovering how to be assertive and confident, so they can move forward into a much better relationship.

And whatever you do, you should aim to find a way of making sure that love comes out victorious over fear.

Reviews Of TYEB On The Net

When you go on the Internet to buy anything, you can find yourself in shark infested waters, that’s for sure.

So just imagine what it’s like when you’re fishing for something around relationship repair! (That most delicate area of human existence.)

Which leads to a very important question – how are you going to find out if Text Your Ex Back is any good or not?

You could look online for reviews, but the problem here is that you very quickly find most so-called “reviews” are in fact just cheap sales pitches by people who are trying to seduce you into buying the product on the back of some fatuous review full of lies.

But if you dig deep, you will find one or two forums where people genuinely discuss these products – and from them, you can pick up a few valuable tips.

Sure, many of these forums are divided into the “OMG! This is the best thing that’s ever happened! We are back together and enjoying better sex than ever! I am so happy!” brigade and the “This is a complete crock of sh*t, don’t buy it” brigade….

Typical, huh. Who to believe?

Want a relationship back? You gotta take some action.... buying TYEB is a good place to start, it seems.

Want a relationship back? You gotta take some action…. and buying TYEB is a good place to start, it seems, judging by internet reviews.

Faced with comments like this, how are you ever going to decide if it’s any good or not?

Texting To The Truth

The first thing that you can do is look at the contents and decide for yourself if it’s likely to help you or not.

That’s what I’ve done on this website – I’ve provided you with information about what’s in the Text Your Ex Back (TYEB for short) program, so you can make some decisions about whether or not it’s actually gonna work for you.

But I also want to bring in some of the reviews on the Internet which look like they’re genuine. That way you get another perspective – the perspective of people who really bought and actually used the program, rather than the perspective of somebody like me who is just commenting on it from the outside in.

To start with, the enotalone forum has a question from somebody who’s been ditched asking if “anyone has actually read or tried any of these getting your ex back books to any avail.”

As this woman rightly observes, there are plenty of relationship repair books of one kind or another floating around the Internet  – and she also says, quite correctly, whenever you try to look for a “legit review”,  you almost always get to a sales pitch or advertisement saying how amazing a book is. And as we all know, that’s not much use if you want a real review of Text Your Ex Back (TYEB for short).

This woman wants to know if there really are any good books that give you good information and good advice about how to get your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back.

And of course she’s asking in the right place because enotalone is a forum for relationship advice! Where better to go for information about TYEB than this?

So let’s dive right into the shark infested waters and see what we can find….

One member of the forum says that these books are all based on the same sort of ideas – working on yourself while giving your ex time and space to think, learning how to live on your own, and even if you don’t get back together, giving you ways to live more happily.

She says that the enotalone forum is a great place to get ideas and how to start your life again because she is “not for all the huffing and puffing of how to magically turn your situation around and have an ex chasing you…” The most important point she makes is that not all situations, people and concepts are the same, which means there isn’t a “one size fits all formula” that you can use after a breakup. And then she hits the nail on the head: it’s how you act that determines your future.

That’s a really important point, because I think TYEB is all about how you should act.

It’s suggesting you don’t come from a desperate place of neediness and “wanting your ex back” because you believe that’s the only way you can be happy. It’s really showing you how to come from a well-balanced, mature, adult place, and advising you only try to get your ex back if you really believe – after due consideration – that you made a mistake splitting up AND getting back together is truly the right thing to do.

If that’s the case, then it also follows that you’re going to need some techniques to overcome any prejudice, anger, doubt, fear or sadness that you and your ex might be feeling.

After all, you broke up – neither of you is going to be feeling the same way as you did just before the breakup!

And if you don’t have guidance, my question is this: How you can possibly manage to find the right way of behaving so as to get them back?

Sometimes you just need a bit of guidance, and I think that’s what Text Your Ex Back is all about.

In forum there is a similar question: “Hi everyone, I came across this program by Michael Fiore called TYEB and I’m wondering if anyone has tried it? What are your opinions about it? I am dubious!”

Well, that’s good – in fact, dubious is great, because in that frame of mind she is less likely to fall for something that doesn’t work. The discussion here centers on whether or not TYEB is about trickery and manipulation or whether it’s based on genuine psychological principles that really can help you re-establish a relationship.

One woman says “I did try it, and although didn’t work me, it is a good program… you are trying to MAKE something happen…” She says that taking action is a good thing, which in my view it is, because seizing the moment and DOING something is basically taking your power back.

In contrast, a woman who responds to her says that “Texting and trying to make things happen with my love interest has already gone down like a lead balloon – I’m not sure I want to go down that road again!”

So there you go, it doesn’t work for everybody in all situations. But if we can find some positive reviews which say that it really does work, we have more evidence that it’s a useful program.

That’s what we really need to find.

Well, the very next review suggests one part of TYEB is really useful for building up your self-esteem – it’s a part of the program called the “I Like Myself Game“. The woman writing this review says that when you do this, “You will start to really love yourself.” Now that’s praise indeed.

The next woman says, “I tried it and it worked to a degree.” She says that the reason it didn’t work is because she didn’t follow the instructions closely enough – around avoiding contact with an ex for the first 30 days after breaking up. She then goes on to say that she “truly feels that if she had done that it would have worked.”

And then we get another good positive review: a woman called Emily says that she is sharing information about the program because she thinks it’s good – “not a system for a rebound kind of thing, though” – but “certainly good if you’re serious about getting back together with your ex.”

She goes on to explain how Texting Back can help .

In her own words, this woman says her life went upside down and left her devastated when her boyfriend of five years left without any explanation. A friend introduced her to TYEB, which she found very difficult because of the 30 day “no contact” rule – she was in that place where she just wanted to talk to her ex or call him – but she persevered, and noticed that at the end of 30 days she had “regained some self-confidence.”

Then she looked at the program in more detail and discovered it was trying to teach people about how to reconnect delicately with no pity or begging, from a strong and confident place. And she makes the point that this is a process which really has to take place over time. As she says, “it’s not an overnight project.”

Bottom line: it worked for her and she is now happily engaged to the same guy, life is back in shape, and things are going well.

And better still, this looks like a real review.

Text Your Ex Back Process
Texting your ex could be the way to restore your relationship!

Now, it’s fair to say that there is another review immediately after this one in which the woman speaks about TYEB being manipulative.

But of course what constitutes manipulation is in the eye of the beholder.

For me the overriding factor is that when you approach an ex you come from your adult mature self, not from the needy wounded part of yourself.

Let’s face it, TYEB offers guidance and support – and that’s got to be a good thing.

There’s review on which is actually most useful: it describes (as I do on this website) the contents of the program, rather than offering a spurious review.

And it describes the principles behind Mr Fiore’s program Text Your Ex Back very simply and straightforwardly. You see, when you read an independent account of what’s in the program, one that’s not designed to make you buy, you realize what good sense there is here.

For example: “When you see your ex keen to start communicating with you as you have in times past, you can invite them for a casual date. But you really need to make sure that you don’t rush things – and you certainly don’t want to talk about your breakup. When you’re comfortable talking to each other as friends, you can broach the topic of why you are not together any more. And here you can apologize for the mistakes you made… A true heartfelt apology will work magnificently well… And when you can let go of the past you know you’re ready to start planning for your future.”

Good solid sensible advice, which actually is backed up by specific techniques you can use to get your ex back.

Overall,  I think what I learned from looking at the reviews of TYEB on the Internet is this: some people dismiss it out of hand because they’re just natural doubters.

Some people give it a chance because there’s a moneyback guarantee (!)

And some people go online to write about how successful it’s been. But it occurs to me that most people for whom TYEB has been successful won’t go online to write about it because they’ll be too busy enjoying the renewed relationship they have with their ex!

All I can say is, give it a try. You’ve nothing to lose because there’s a money-back guarantee. Start by having a look through this website – the one you’re on now – so you can see what content you’ll be getting if you buy it. CLICK HERE TO DO THIS.

That should give you a good idea whether it’s going to be something that you personally want to try.

Text Your Ex Back Reviewed

 Get The Shocking Truth About Text Your Ex Back!

This is a Real Review! Don’t die of surprise!

Look, we all know there aren’t many “real reviews” on the internet. Most so-called reviews just want to sell you something.

So prepare to be shocked – this is a real review, one that tells you what’s in Mike Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back program, and then leaves you free to decide whether or not to join the program.

How radical is that? Read on to find out more.


Want an honest review? Great - you just found one!
Want an honest review?
Great – you just found one!

You have to hand it to Michael Fiore, he’s right there with you, holding your hand, telling you what to do, as he takes you through his system for making up with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

And he has some great ideas.

  • The instructions in Text Your Ex Back are simple and clear.
  • He explains exactly why SMS messages are a great way to repair a break-up.
  • He shows you exactly how to use text messages to gradually increase intimacy and connection with your ex lover. 
  • And he shows you how to respond to them if they react with anger or hostility, so you can defuse their emotions and get them liking you again.
  • There are videos of all the material which you can watch over and over again.
  • He tells you exactly what you do and why you’re going to do it.
  • You’re never in any doubt about the next step, regardless of what you and your ex are doing
  • And the forum has a massive community of like-minded people happy to support you.

I couldn’t think of a single question  Mike Fiore leaves unanswered, but there’s such a good support system attached to his program that if you have a problem, all you do is send off an email to support and they’ll answer almost immediately.

This is outstanding service!

Can texting really repair relationships?
But can texting really repair relationships? Let’s find out….

What’s in Text Your Ex Back?

Text your ex back is all about knowing you made a mistake.

It’s about missing and appreciating your ex, while feeling you have a real connection, and knowing the reasons you broke up are things you can resolve, accept, or simply get over.

Some of the material in TEXT YOUR EX BACK might seem manipulative.

But there’s a lot of human psychology you can use to re-awaken your ex’s attraction and help him or her decide they want to be with you again.

It’s powerful stuff – so use it for the good.

Module 1, the introduction, is all about setting out the ground rules, and telling you how the program works.

Once you’re past the introduction, you get into the videos and PDF EBook downloads available for each module.

Below you can read my review of Text Your Ex Back modules 2 and 3.

Texting Module 2: The Dumper and the Dumped

What's your motive for wanting your ex back?
What’s your motive for wanting your ex back?

Like all the other modules in Text Your Ex Back, this one starts with an introductory video by Mike Fiore.

He explains clearly and simply what the purpose of the module is, and how you should use it.

He also explains more of the psychology that lies behind the program.

Module 2 is all about finding out why you really broke up: and that might not be what it looked like at the time! 

The material here is for YOU – regardless of whether you broke off the relationship, or someone broke it off with you. (Or, as he puts it, whether you are the dumper OR the dumped.)

There’s also a startling section about why people cheat on each other. And that, believe me, is compelling reading.

If it’s relevant to you in any way, you must check it out.

In Module 2 you get the video, a PDF download eBook, and an MP3 of the material too. That’s the way it is in all the modules – Text Your Ex Back is great value for money!

To help you work out the real reasons your relationship ended, there are some profound explanations of what people really mean when they say things like:

  • “Our relationship isn’t moving forward.”
  • “I just can’t relax.”
  • “You don’t appreciate me.”
  • “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  • And there are some great insights into why people cheat on each other.

If you don’t know why you broke up, or you think there’s more going on than anybody’s talking about, or you just want to know what those cliches really mean, this is the place to find out.

And you might just have some incredible insights about yourself.

For example, do you know what the #1 indicator of relationship failure is? 

Mike reveals all in Text Your Ex Back, and if this particular thing applies to you…. well, it’s time to move on, no matter how much you want the relationship back, because it’s never, ever going to work if this one applies to you.

Video – the effects of break up

What Do You Really Want?

 Text Your Ex Back Review

Module 3: The Big Goal

So you’ve worked out in the previous section why your relationship really came to an end. Now it’s time to work out what you want.

Well, you might say, “I want my ex back.” And sure you do. The question is – why do you want your ex back? I’ll give you some examples of the kind of reasons people say when asked this question:

  • I want my children to grow up in a whole family
  • My partner and I work well together despite the difficult times
  • We understand each other better than anyone else could ever do

Sure, there are many more. What’s your reason?

Just why do you want your ex back?
Just why do you want your ex back?

Honesty is the important thing here, even if being honest means admitting you just want to Text Your Ex Back because you hate the feeling of rejection OR because you think YOU should have been the one to dump THEM!

That’s OK –  just be honest.

And the next question is: what do you want to happen when you get back with your partner?

This is the “big goal”.

  • Maybe you just want to feel the way you did with him or her 20 years ago.
  • Maybe in a perfect world your big goal would be to date a few times a week.
  • Or maybe it would be to see your partner as often as you want, but still have plenty of time apart.

You need to consider how your relationship will be different, the things you’ll do together, and what the ultimate outcome of getting back with your ex will be.

You have to do this because you can’t aim for something if you don’t know what you’re aiming for….

What do you want to happen when you get your ex back?
What do you want to happen when you get your ex back?

In Text Your Ex Back, Mike Fiore takes you through a whole series of steps which will let you identify a series of baby steps that are realistic and possible, steps that’ll take you towards your big goal, in the right way.

And that depends on where you are with your ex right now – you know the kind of thing…..

Are you speaking?  Are you seeing each other socially?  Hanging out all the time but not being sexual?

So this module’s all about finding a way to take it step-by-step from where you are now to where you want to be.

This is the start of the process of Texting Your Ex Back!

Read on for the next section of this Text Your Ex Back summary immediately below.

(If you decide you want to try it out, there’s a link to join at the top of the right hand side of this page….)

Modules 4 to 6 Text Your Ex Back

Module 4:  “Flight Check”!

What the heck…. !

What the heck is Flight Check?
What the heck is Flight Check? Let’s find out…

Well, it’s a kind of emotional and mental check list you need to go through to make sure you’re ready to start the process of texting your ex back to you.

It’s all about cleaning up your own thoughts, feelings and emotional state.

That means, among other things, you have to accept that your old relationship’s dead. And that’s a good thing, because it can’t have been working so well if you broke up!

One of the keys to this is forgiveness.

Whether you are the dumper or the dumped, to have a new relationship with your ex, a relationship that works the way you really want it to work, you have to fully forgive both your ex-partner and yourself (because that’s the only way that your anger and sadness will get out of the way).

Forgiveness is important.

Do you know how to do that right now? Probably not. But you will after you’ve done the flight check.

And how’s your self-esteem? High or, most likely, low? Don’t despair – “Flight Check” gives you all the keys you need to building up your self-esteem after this break-up: again, that’s true for both dumper and dumped.

Sidebar: What a great program this is! Each time I review Text Your Ex Back, I find more information all about how to understand relationships!

And are you still feeling needy? That ain’t going to attract anyone. So Michael Fiore provides a load of techniques that will let you rebuild your confidence and self-respect, let you get over the hurt, and make you feel good about yourself again – without depending on your ex.

And then you can start thinking about contacting him or her.

As you can see, ”Flight Check” is all about getting you in the right emotional state before you start the process of getting back together.

Once you’ve read all the tricks, techniques and tips that Michael Fiore describes in Text Your Ex Back, acted on them, and so transformed your mental and emotional outlook, you’ll be ready, willing, and able to build a new, harmonious, satisfying, loving relationship – in fact, it will be the relationship you really wanted all the time!

Video – surviving the break up

Module 5: Text Judo

Text Judo!! Now what!?
Text Judo!!
Now what!?

Text Judo…..  you might be wondering “what on earth…?” So think of how Judo teaches you to use your opponent’s strength against him or her so you get the upper hand.

(Not that your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend is your opponent, but still…)

This is all about using emotional intensity – positive AND negative – to regain the interest, and affection, love and attention of your ex.

This is about creating positive emotion, not negative! It’s what you use to create your new relationship – whether you were the dumper or the dumped.

What you aim to do is build up their interest and their fascination to a level where they just can’t resist you.

As Mike Fiore, author of Text Your Ex Back, says, if you bawl when you read this module, you might NOT be ready to move on!

On the other hand, if you start thinking fondly of times past…. well, there’s no need to work on the “I Like Myself” game any more!

Instead, start texting your ex behind! You seem to be objective, collected, calm, and IN CONTROL. You may have strong feelings, sure. But you are in control. You are good to go!

Even if the idea of contacting your ex sounds difficult, you’ll find lots of points of connection by looking at what brought you together as a couple. Still sounding difficult?

Fear not: In TEXT YOUR EX BACK, Michael Fiore sets out all the questions and answers you need to find the material to write the texts to send to your ex – the texts that will get him or her feeling warm (and more than warm!) towards you.

By the time you finish these 2 steps of Text Your Ex Back, you’ll be armed with a complete list of your common interests, the best experiences you ever had together (or maybe just the most powerful ones), and you’ll probably know how your ex is currently feeling about your relationship!

You’ll take this information into the next module, and discover exactly how, why, and when to text your ex so they see you in a completely different light.

Read on below for more information on what happens next.

Module 6 – “Across The Bow” Texts

This is the first type of text – and like all the others in modules 7, 8, 9 and 10, it has a specific purpose.

Using the most sophisticated concepts of emotional psychology you’ll find out exactly how to text, what to text, and went to text. And you’ll get some amazing results!

Text Your Ex Back Module 6

Actual texts you can send to your ex to start the process of getting him or her back. Wow! Scary!
Actual texts you can send to your ex to start the process of getting him or her back. Wow! Scary!

This gives you actual texts to send to your ex so you can get their attention.

These texts are designed mostly to give them a message – which amounts to “Hey! I’m here and I want your attention” with the subtext ”By the way, I’m not needy, I’m just looking for something and you might have it….”

These are definitely not text terrorist texts (i.e. hundreds of stalky texts), along the lines of “OMG I want you back so bad!” No way, José!

These are going to show your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend you’ve changed, and you know it. You’ll also discover exactly how to respond to your ex when they reply. 

And what to do if they don’t. You see, Text Your Ex Back really does have it all!

As Mike Fiore, author of the program, says: “That first ‘Across The Bow’ text is going to make your plans pay off, make your mission a reality, and get your ex back into your life.

This is where a lot of the prep work we’ve done so far comes into play, especially the emotional state and “how your ex feels about you” preparation we did.

What are Across The Bow texts for? This is your first contact with your ex in a while, and it’s going to set the tone for the  conversation to come.

(That’s not to say that you can’t recover if you miff the first few texts, but it’s way better to get them right.)

The first few texts are different than the rest… they have a specific purpose, and you need to keep it clear in your mind.

So listen up: the goal of the first text is simply to G.E.A.R. up for the conversation to come. (Aww! It’s my first acronym of the program – ain’t it cute?) G.E.A.R stands for GENTLY ESTABLISH AFFIRMATIVE RAPPORT.”

Get all that? Makes sense, right? Sure does. And by the time you’ve read my review of Text Your Ex Back, you should be ready to go for it!

After reading this module, you’ll be well on the way to getting your ex back (with a no-questions-asked money back guarantee included when you buy the program, so there’s no risk to you).

And, just in case you’re already getting too excited, the program makes sure you know what Across The Bow texts are not to be used for, and how to avoid getting yourself into uncomfortably deep water.

Remember, this is just about establishing a good rapport…. so knowing what you want, what response you want, and whether you’re opening the door to a specific conversation is critical.

After all, this is the first step to your new, fulfilling, life-affirming relationship with your ex back in your life.Seriously: no joke. It really is.

Here’s what Mike has to say: “The key to a good Across The Bow text is that it gives the impression that you just happened to be inspired to contact your ex.

This is a bit of subterfuge, of course – you’ve actually been preparing for this for weeks. Why is this important?

Because you can’t start this communication with anything that says, “Let’s get back together.” That’s too threatening and huge coming out of the blue.

This first text says nothing of the sort – it’s just establishing the connection; it’s more like hooking up your satellite dish than actually watching TV.”

Enough said for now, I guess. Except, this is really smart stuff, you know? And I have a degree in psychology so I know smart stuff when I see it – even though they never taught me this at college.

And by the way, did you know the importance of having the last word? Or, rather, the last text.

(I’ll give you a clue – it’s not about getting one over. Find out why it’s so very important in this module when you buy the program.)

Sidebar: the power of humor in restoring relationships.

Modules 7 and 8

How To Text Him Or Her Back Module 7

In this part of my Text Your Ex Back review, I’m looking at module 7, which is about building rapport.

Rapport is essential for reconciliation
Rapport is essential for reconciliation

Who would’ve thought that by bringing up memories of your relationship, you could get your ex interested in you? 

Well me, for one, because we all want to re-create the warm, happy times we’ve had.

And let’s face it, if there’s even a hint of warmth towards you from your ex, you stand a chance of blowing the embers into a burning fire of passion – particularly if you show how you’ve changed.

And that’s true whether you broke up or they broke up with you. So – on to …..

Texting “Best Of The Relationship” Text Messages

Text Your Ex eBook has loads of texting examples that focus on the best of what you had with your ex lover.

These are all about what you had in common, what you did together, what made your relationship good in the times when it was good. 

You’re going to paint a picture, describe a scene, start with a small “ask”, and then build up the intensity in a way that matches how your ex responds.

Wise words that seem relevant here!
Wise words that seem relevant here!

And once again, you are not on your own! Michael Fiore, author ofText Your Ex Back,  is right with you here – showing you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, with hundreds of text examples in the eBook…. (and it’s all on the Text Your Ex Back MP3 and the Text Your Ex Back eBook as well).

In this stage of the program, you’re trying to plant positive thoughts and emotions in your ex’s mind so they start thinking about you in a positive way.

And emotional language makes those good times feel as real as possible… but you’re not trying to get your ex back yet – or, more accurately, you’re not looking for a face-to-face meeting yet.

After all, you’ve only just started trying to plant positive thoughts in your ex’s mind!

As Mike Fiore, author of Text Your Ex Back says, Best Of The Relationship texts are about focusing on past experiences using POSITIVE emotional language and DETAIL .

The Text Judo idea here is about making your ex feel positive, not negative, towards you.

It’s a combination of power words, memory stimulation, building word pictures, and putting it together using sneaky tricks like “the small ask”. Know what that is? If not, Text Your Ex Back will reveals all! 

But I’ll give you a clue. First, remember you’ve already built rapport.

Here’s an example of a “best of the relationship” text from Sarah to her ex-boyfriend: “Hey, really quick, can you remind me of the name of that restaurant we went to on your 30th birthday?”

Now, do you see why that’s so powerful at building rapport?

No? Are you kidding me? You might find that improving youremotional intelligence helps! Maybe really do need this program!

The cool thing about the “Can you remind me” setup is that it draws your ex in and gets them actively engaged in the memory.

Now, since TEXT YOUR EX BACK provides loads of SMS formatted messages to text your ex – though you can think up your own, too! – you can easily go away and work your magic with a top-secret, sneaky text that’s very powerful indeed.

Read on below to find out how you can do this! The Text Your Ex eBook has all the answers!

Module 8 The Green Eyed Monster:

Texting Your Ex Back And Jealousy

Wow…. this is where you use jealousy as a positive force!

Yes, you bet. A POSITIVE FORCE.

This is going to get your ex thinking about how much they feel for you.

But though it’s quite subtle, it’s also extremely powerful – so care is needed when you do it.

Will it ever be the same again? No - it will be much better!
Will it ever be the same again?
No – it will be much better!

Let’s get Mike Fiore’s words on this part of Text Your Ex Back: “When other people like you, and hit on you, your ex begins to realize what they lost.  A horrible pang of jealousy may well make them doubt the whole ‘breakup’ thing.”

Of course, this actually works a lot better if it’s not a lie. You actually should be dating other people – even if it’s the most ‘mellow’ kind of dating. And once your ex knows what you’re doing, they’re gonna wonder if they made a mistake.

Actually they’re going to wonder if they made a mistake if you set the situation up correctly.

As Mike says in this module of Text Your Ex Back, you use a bit of jealousy, not  massive sauce of green-eyed monster.  So you carefully let your ex know about the positive aspects of your post-breakup life, and at the same time you can subtly turn the screws on their heart.

Fortunately, Text Your Ex Back gives you go all the information you need to get both the content and timing of these texts spot on. 

And it also provides good responses for you to send back to your ex when they respond to you – no matter how they respond (warm or cold!).

To sum it up – you’ll be amazed at the impact this can have – and this texting lark is heading straight for damn’ serious territory anytime now. In fact, it gets serious with the next module – but in a good way!

If you want to TEXT YOUR EX BACK, this is the way to go, bro’, sister!

Read on for the next exciting step in the Text Your Ex eBook – and don’t forget – it’s all on MP3 and video as well if you prefer to hear the examples and listen to a description of how to use the system.

therapist on jealousy. See what comes next in the Text Your Ex Back eBook in the next post!

Module 9

Planting The Seeds: Intimacy Booster Texts

Intimacy booster texts mean you’re really getting somewhere. And they also mean this texting procedure is about to get seriously real.

Intimacy booster texts are about showing emotional support for your ex – and that you still care for them.

I guess you find out how much you loved someone when they've gone!
I guess you may only find out how much you love someone when they’ve gone!

It’s the next stage in a gradual progression from more-or-less saying “hi” to saying “I still love you…”

There are several formulas you can use, but the essence is not being needy or aggressive, but rather showing your support is available if your ex wants it.

This module has several pages of vital information about how to pitch your texts in a way that’s not threatening but will make your ex see you as someone they really want back in their life.

By following the plan in text your ex back, you’re reminding your ex of how close you guys once were – and planting the seed of the idea that you could be just as close again.

You can do that because this is a step by step approach, establishing contact as gently as possible, instilling the beginnings of positive feelings in your ex, and handling any negativity with “Text Judo”.

You’re strong, you’re playing your cards right, and you’re ready for the next step in this Text Your Ex Back review.

Your goal is to remind your ex by text message of the intimacy and connection you once had, but in a positive way. You want your ex to almost YEARN for the close support you provided for them.

In a subtle way, you want them to subconsciously come to realize that they don’t want to live without you, that they can’t live without you.

The way to do this is NOT to say, “You can’t live without me” (no surprise there!) or vice versa, but to actually make yourself useful to your ex in a way that nobody else could.

The best thing about it? You can do it all with texting. Do you know how that might happen?

Well, here is just one text your ex back example of how you might do this.

If you knew your ex was having a hard time, for example, you could text: “Hey, I know [WHATEVER STRESSFUL EVENT THEY’RE GOING THROUGH] is tough for you. If you need me, I’m here.”

The key is to bring up the stressful event gently and then show that you are supportive – but to do it with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. That’s really important.

Obviously, you’re doing this with the hope of winning your ex back, but your support and love have to be genuine.

Still wondering if TEXT YOUR EX BACK will work for you? Check out this example – in blue print – provided by Mike Fiore of texting. It’s another extract from the module:

Your Emotional Honesty texts can really be broken down to a few different categories:

1. Compliment texts
2. Appreciation texts
3. “How I Feel” texts
4. “What I Miss” texts

(I know, I know. The guys reading this are groaning already. Get over it. If you want her back, you’ve got to be willing to speak your heart. You know you’ve got one. So use it, OK?)

 Text Your Ex Back reviews claim this technique is particularly effective for GUYS texting GIRLS, by the way.

That’s because  women LOVE IT when a guy actually cracks his emotional armor and opens up!

In fact, this one technique alone could be the thing that gets her to ask to see you.

Now, this may sound simple. And in a way, it is. But you’re tapping into the deepest parts of your ex’s mind with your  text messages.

You’re accessing their unconscious mind, their deepest needs, and their awareness of what brought you together in the first place. And that is powerful stuff.

All you need now is to establish a better relationship – with Mike Fiore’s help! 

Video – getting back with an ex

Text Your Ex Back – Module 10 Contents

Module 10 of Text Your Ex Back develops the idea of Emotional Honesty Texts, and then moves on to ways you can make your ex want you (emotionally and physically) by using attraction texts. 

Sexting and texting by Mike Fiore

Texting Him or Her Back: Emotional Honesty Texts 

Text Your ex Back gives you texts to use on both women and men, and provides plenty of examples.

Emotional Honesty texts are about making a real connection.

Once again, it’s all set out for you in the Text Your Ex (Girlfriend or Boyfriend) Back  program so nothing is left to chance! Here’s what Mike Fiore says:

“Sometimes you just have to cut the past the bullshit and tell your ex how you really feel. And that time is now. No excuses, no blaming, no fighting, no crap. You just take out your cell phone (and with your thumb shaking and lip quivering, sure) tell your ex THE TRUTH. If you do it right, the text formulas I’ve given you in this manual will really establish emotional connection…  And since you’re texting, you don’t have to worry about getting cold feet, tripping over your words, breaking down crying, or rolling over into anger or embarrassment. Why? Because texting is PRIVATE, safe, and simple.” 

Great work, Mike Fiore!

One obvious key to using Emotional Honesty texts is to keep things positive.

Emotional Honesty, as reviewed in Text Your Ex Back, is not about airing dirty laundry or patching up that last fight (see diagram above!)

This is about redirecting your ex’s emotions into positive territory.

No beating yourself up in these texts, either. After a break up or divorce, you can apologize for actual bad behavior (and should OWN that behavior) but you should not rake yourself over the coals or come across as if you don’t like yourself.

This is where the “I Like Myself Game” comes into play.

Can you honestly say "I like myself?"
Can you honestly say “I like myself?”

If you can own a mistake without wallowing in it, that shows confidence, maturity, and all the good stuff that makes someone want to be with you.

As always, Text Your Ex Back reviews loads of examples of how you can do this. Nothing is left to chance – you are not on your own, you’ll know exactly what to text and when.

Here’s Mike again, once more writing in theText Your Ex Back EBook:

So which of these do you think would work best? As a text message of reconciliation with your ex partner?

John: “I can barely breathe without you. I feel like an elephant is standing on my chest right now and I’m going to die if I don’t see you. Why aren’t you here? Don’t you understand that I LOVE you? COME BACK.”


Mary: “No matter what, there’s always going to be a part of me that’s in love with you. When I think about you I can’t help but smile. I feel this great energy just flow through me and it makes me happy that you’re out there in the world.”

I think the answer is obvious! Qualities of a good text SMS message for recovering your lost one, according to Mike Fiore:

  • centered
  • confident
  • not at all needy
  • positive
  • not (obviously) manipulative.

You are saying how you actually feel about them, not what you like about them….. (I feel loving towards you; I like the way you smile at me. Get the difference?)

Attraction texts turn up the heat, and get your ex back to thinking about you….in all ways, including sexually.

And this is OK, because your ex will be reacting to Emotional Honesty texts very positively, and so you are making great progress… and two more techniques will see you well on your way.

And, yes, of course you can be suggestive and even a little sexy, but you need to be respectful and honest…

Texting Him Or Her Back – Examples

Let’s hear it in Mike’s words once more:

“There’s something VERY intimate about texting. It’s almost like telepathy. You can see more at – a great resource for all kinds of people, including those who are texting their ex back and those who are not…. yes, it can be used by people in established relationships to make things hotter!”

And while your ex might be turned on if you use the text messages in the Text Your Ex Back eBook, this is really about showing them you understand them and are right alongside them.

Which is great if you’re a man trying to show a woman those things! And if you’re a woman – well, this will show you how a man’s mind works.

Either way, you could end up with your hearts racing at the thought of each other…..

But Surely Texting…

…isn’t just about sexting?

No,  this isn’t about texting your ex back for the sake of sex… AND at the same time you can take this to any level you choose… all your options are explained in the Text Your Ex Back manual.

And that means you can go from PG to XXX in the virtual world!

Maybe you’re thinking “Oh no, I could never do that.” Well, you can.

I’ve read this program from start to finish and I have seen how it takes you step by step through increasing levels of intimacy.

By the time you get to Module 10,  Text Your Ex Back will have shown you precisely how to respond to anything you get back from your ex by text message – you’re on firm ground, and you know they’re interested. You’re on to a “dead cert.”

Let’s face it – telling your old partner what you really miss and what you really appreciated about them BY TEXT with an honest, open, NON MANIPULATIVE approach is going to change their attitude towards you. For the better. Texting is POWERFUL!

And at some point you can ask them out. That’s the most exciting stage of the TEXT YOUR EX BACK PROGRAM – knowing that, at some point, you’re going to meet them again – and then build a whole new relationship.

Finally: Text Your Ex Back tells you what you do when you get a “yes” – that is, a yes to the question about having a real date.

I’m not going to reveal that – to find out, you’ll have to buy the program!

Module 11 – Texting Steady

So let’s review Text your Ex Back module 11. It’s all about “Going Steady” – and building a new relationship with your ex.

Here, you find out how you can get to be in the same room as your ex partner again – but on good terms!


You can think of this as the first date in your new relationship…. and you also find out all about what you should text about after your “first date”.

So, to recap, in Module 1 1 of Text Your Ex Back, Mike Fiore discusses how to turn this “first” encounter with your ex into a warm and fuzzy feeling that your ex will love.

It’s about going from virtual contact (by texting your ex) to physical.

And after that, he explains how to keep the texting and messaging connection going, even when you’re hanging out with your ex-boyf or ex-girlfriend.

Because, even if you’re in a relationship – be it physical or emotional – with your ex, why should the teasing fun of the little texts EVER stop!?

And so Mike Fiore shows you how to keep texting open as a pure (or a “dirty” – it depends on you!) channel – how to be romantic, how to stay close, and how to keep texting as a vital part of the relationship.

He shows you how to keep on doing the work to build a great (new) relationship with your ex. This information’s amazing! And it is very effective. 

I know because I checked it out on my current partner – and sure, I know that’s not the exact idea here, but hey, what the heck! You see, you can use the information in Text Your Ex Back to flirt with your partner once you’re in your renewed relationship.


The impact it had on her was amazing! I mean, she wanted me……if you know what I mean!

Texting and Mike Fiore

And inspired by this, she then gave it to a friend of hers to try ”for real”. This sad couple had split up after a massive row during a holiday a few months before – and, long story short, within 5 weeks they’d moved back in together and (so they say) life has never been so good.

Text Your Ex Back has helped 1000′s of people around the world get back together.

And the truth is that sometimes this program will make you realize you didn’t really want your ex back – you just wanted them to want you….. that’s very common.

But whatever happens, something changes. You grow, you develop, you know what you want, what you don’t want – and you’re ready to try again with your ex OR with someone else…..

So there are many possible outcomes to using Text Your Ex Back.

The best is that you’re dating your ex again – and that’s great – but you still need the tools to build your new relationship up from scratch.

Most of the people who Texted Their Ex Back ended up happily partnered with their ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend – but even if you don’t, you’ll be in a stronger, better place, ready for the next relationship that really works for you!

As Mike says:

Here we are at the end of the Text Your Ex Back program.

As you probably figured out by now, this program is about a lot more than texting.

It’s about getting closer to the person you love, accepting them for who they are, inviting them to accept you for who you are, and laying the groundwork and foundation for a stronger and better relationship.

Depending on how you worked the program and what your relationship with your ex was like before you started, you have one of three possible outcomes:

1)  You’re dating your ex again. Congratulations! Have fun and KEEP DATING. You have plenty of time. Don’t rush things. Keep it interesting, and don’t fall into a rut.

You probably learned from your first breakup that sustainable relationships take a lot more work than you thought! But what’s better than staying with the person you love?

For tips on how to keep that spark going for the foreseeable future, check out

2) You’re “friendly” with your ex, but not dating. Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with this at all. If you still have your ex in your life and you both see each other as positive parts of your lives, that’s a good thing.

And as long as the lines of communication are open, that gives you the chance to have more in the future.

3) You didn’t get what you wanted. Honestly? It’s rare, but it happens. I’ve seen all of the techniques and ideas in this guide work again and again, but every relationship is different.

It’s possible that you and your ex simply weren’t meant for each other or that too much damage was done in your relationship for repair to be possible. If that’s the case, take a deep breath and realize that the pain you’re feeling will pass.

If this review of Text Your Ex Back has helped you decide to buy the program, you buy it using the link at the top of the right hand column of this page.

Or you can read on for a review of the Platinum Edition of Text Your Ex Back.

The Platinum Edition

Here are some examples of the free text ideas you get with the Platinum package!  

The Platinum edition does cost a bit more than the basic package – but it’s worth it!

Text Your Ex Back:

Examples Of “Intimacy Booster Texts”

There are lots more texts for you to choose from in the Platinum edition of Text Your Ex Back, but here are a few examples of the SMS messages you might send your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.

The text in square brackets [ ] is what you’d fill in for yourself:

  • There’s an [event your ex would care about] coming up at [location, time, date]. Thought you would want to know.
  • I read that there’s a rally for [example – your ex’s favorite political cause] coming up. You should probably be there!
  • I’m looking forward to [religious event/holiday]. Do you have special plans?
  • There’s a sale on [something your ex likes] at [store]. Thought you might like to know.
  • A [restaurant/bar] you might like just opened up in [neighborhood]. You should check it out—I thought it was really good.

Text Your Ex Back “Emotional Honesty Texts”

Here are some examples:

  • [Problem or challenge] is exactly the kind of thing you are good at. I miss having you there to bounce ideas off.
  • Whenever I think of you, I’m just filled with positive energy that keeps me going all day.
  • Whatever happens, I am always going to cherish the time we had together.
  • The world is a better place with you in it because [reason].

Now, how easy do you think it might be to seduce your ex partner with texting her back (or texting him back, of course) if you actually have all the text material you need laid out for you, ready to use?

Yes – you got it – VERY easy!

Read on immediately below to check out the rest of the bonuses you get with the Platinum edition of Text Your Ex Back.

Like I said, if you want to buy the Platinum edition with all these Text Your Ex Back Bonuses, you’re going to have to shell out some more cash. 

Is it worth it? Well, fearlessly diving into the deep waters of ex-texting on your behalf, I bought into the platinum edition and I’m now going to tell you clearly and honestly what else you get for your money.

That way, you can make an informed decision about whether to buy them or not.

But first, a video…. by Mike Fiore himself!

The Platinum Edition Bonuses!

There are four bonuses which come with the Text Your Ex Back Platinum Edition, and they are:

  • 100 Ready to Use Texts from the program’s author, Mike Fiore
  • The Infidelity Buster
  • Ways To Instant Forgiveness
  • Facebook Romance Secrets

So what’s in them?

To start with, “100 Ready to Use Texts” is really self-explanatory.

You get lots of texts in each category – from “Across the Bow” all the way through to “Texting Steady.”

The Text Your Ex Back eBook contains hundreds of SMS text your ex back messages that are extremely useful even if you’re a really creative guy or gal. Heck, we all need a bit of inspiration from time to time, yes?

And, hey, we all like to save ourselves a bit of work!  Bottom line: these texting your ex back free text bonuses are very useful, especially when you use them as a starting point for your own material.

(Beware of one disadvantage of using them “as is”: they may not reflect your voice. So adapt them to your way of speaking, and you’ll be fine.)

Here are a few examples from the Text Your Ex Back eBook to give you a flavour of what you’re going to get.

These are texts you can plug straight into your ex’s mind to give them a short sharp reminder of just how good you could be for each other when you get back together:

Examples Of Text Your Ex Back “Across the Bow” Texts

  • I can’t believe [your favorite song as a couple] just came on the radio! Reminds me of the time we [song-inspired memory].
  • I was arguing with someone about [political issue] today and I found myself wishing you were there because you were always so smart about that stuff.

Examples Of “Best of the Relationship”Texts (20 to choose from)

  • Remember that lovely (day together)? That’s a memory I’ll never forget.
  • Remember that beautiful (specific sunset/sunrise)? It was like Mother Nature was doing a show just for us.
  • Remember that special (birthday or other celebration)? I can’t remember having so much fun, and it was especially fun because you were there.

Sound good? You bet it does.

And there are dozens more examples where they came from, meaning that as you text your ex back you need never be short of inspirational and exciting texts to send your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend… getting them in the mood to get back with YOU!