How To Decide If You Really Want Your Ex Back
I mean, apart from that nagging pain in your guts, a sense that your life is now over, and the feeling that you’re incomplete without the one you’ve lost?
OK, I’m joking. I admit it. But the fact remains: sometimes it’s hard to decide whether a relationship that appears to have gone down the pan is worth pursuing or whether you should cut your losses and run.
However, I assume if you’re reading a website on how to get your ex back by means of SMS texts, then you’ve probably already made a pretty good decision, a pretty clear decision, that you want to get back with your ex and rebuild the relationship.
Even so, I want to talk about this because the idea of texting your ex back fascinates me.
The concept of “sunk cost” applies to all kinds of things, including relationships and break ups.
Sunk cost is an idea that comes from economic theory. It’s all about working out whether you’ve invested so much into some aspect of your life or business that even if things are going wrong you should stick with it. (Or cut and run: in which case, what you lose is the sunk cost.)
And if you think about it, this applies to relationships. Getting your ex back may not be easy, but nobody ever claimed that relationships were easy!
And certainly nobody ever claimed that you can get away – at least in a good relationship – by investing only a small amount of time and a small amount of effort. Let alone, a small amount of money.
And so knowing how much relationships cost, how much you’ve already invested, why wouldn’t you want to text your ex back?
In short, why wouldn’t you take the time and trouble to work on texting them back?
What you have to do to get them back – like buying Text Your Ex Back – may be only a small investment additional to the massive amount you’ve already put into the relationship. Surely that has to be worthwhile?
So, to recap: the “sunk cost” is what you’ve spent in time, energy, emotional investment, and all the other ways that you invest in a relationship, and it’s also the amount you’re prepared to throw away if you really do know the relationship is over. Once and for all. Kaput. Finito. Done and dusted.
In other words, when the investment’s really been a bad one, and you make no further ongoing investment, your sunk cost is what you’ve poured into the relationship.
Sure, we’re not quite looking at Text Your Ex Back right now, but this is great stuff, don’t you think?
There are two ways to understand what’s going on here. And both of them are about avoidance.
The first one is to think of how you might avoid loss and disappointment when something hasn’t worked out the way you hoped it would.
Think of a relationship where you shared many experiences, where you gave a lot of yourself to your partner, where you hoped the relationship would be a good one.
You have to face the fact that the ending of this relationship brings you right up face-to-face with the loss of what might have been, and the loss of what you’ve already invested in the relationship. (The sunk cost – that’s why you might want to get a copy of text your ex back!)
But interestingly, when you focus on the sunk cost of a relationship, you’re probably distracting yourself from thinking about how much you genuinely might benefit from ending the relationship.
That’s because actually, deep down, your thoughts and feelings are telling you that it really isn’t going to work – or maybe that it will only work on very different terms.
You see what’s happening here? You’ve invested so much into the relationship in the past that now you have to avoid the fact that deep down you know the relationship isn’t worth resurrecting.
And why? Because if you allow yourself to notice this loss, the emotional pain of what you’ve lost may be far greater than any financial loss.
Text Your Ex Back represents a short cut to restoring relationship and so avoids this pain.
In other words, you’re not thinking about what might happen in the future, you’re thinking about what’s already happened, and how much you’ve invested in the relationship, and because of that you might not be able make a clear decision about how you want your life to be in the future.
But I’m not trying to stop you buying Text Your Ex Back.
In fact, quite the opposite: I think it’s an excellent program, and I think it can really help you to get your ex back and rebuild a different kind of relationship in the future.
The point I’m really making here is that I want you to be sure you’re not focusing too much on the amount you’ve invested in the relationship and the hope you had for it.
The problem with applying the concept of sunk cost to relationships is that we are not financial systems – we are emotional human beings.
Think about the guy who’s invested time and money in a girl he’s very interested in.
After a while, she starts behaving in an unpredictable way: not returning his phone calls, perhaps choosing randomly when to contact him, making herself available some of the time, disappearing at other times.
If the guy hasn’t slept with her yet, then it’s probably not a real relationship, even though he most likely hopes to sleep with her in the future. (As we all know, that’s a major motivator for men chasing a relationship.)
So what does he do now, knowing full well that her behaviour doesn’t bode well for the future?
Here’s Why The Idea of Texting Is So Popular!
The truth is that what he “ought” to do is regard the money and time that he’s spent trying to develop a relationship with her as a sunk cost, abandon the chase, and move onto the next girl.
The fact is, though, most guys, and a lot of women too, would actually think differently, as in: “I can’t possibly walk away from this because I’ve put so much into it already.”
Not just in the time and money spent in the past, but in the hope of sex and other fun in the future.
In other words, our irrational behaviour as human beings comes from the fact that the more we invest something, the more likely we are to pursue it – perhaps ignoring some obvious facts about the chances of success.
And how wonderful! That’s simply being human….. it makes sense to us. It’s what we do.
So if your relationship is in trouble, yet you sense that the relationship was worth all you’ve invested in it, and you hold out hope for greater rewards in the future, then make a decision now to buy Text Your Ex Back.
After all, it’s a modest further investment, and it might well help you to get back to where you want to be by a simple system of texting your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend …. with your relationship renewed and your investment well worthwhile. It’s your call!
Sunk costs by Jane Pak
Jane Pack describes a class in which a professor enquired of one female student whether or not, if she’d been dating someone for 10 years, and the man suddenly decided to ask her to marry him, would she take into account those 10 years of dating and 10 years of relationship time, money and investment in making her decision?
Naturally enough, she responded “Of course I would.” And indeed, in the whole class there were only about 6 people out of 70 who said they would not.
Those 6 people suggested there might be good reasons why the couple were not already married after 10 years.
And that’s a fair point. But of course most people would say that 10 years spent together was 10 years invested, and therefore it MUST form a part of the factors you considered in a decision abut whether or not to get married.
But the truth is that time invested and time spent together are not the same thing at all.
Furthermore, the simplistic analysis of the relationship in terms of investment made so far fails completely to consider the net present value of 10 years spent together, and makes the assumption that the relationship is worth nothing unless marriage is achieved.
And more: there may be other benefits that will be felt in the future from the 10 years already spent together, whether or not the relationship ends.
So in assessing whether or not a relationship should end, you need to consider whether or not continuing it represents greater value than not continuing it.
In other words, the decision isn’t just about what’s happened in the past, it’s about what might happen in the future as well, and that of course is much harder to judge.
But it’s probably fair to say that the expectations people hold that a relationship will provide rewards in the future is one of the main reasons they are motivated to, oh, shall we say, “Text Their Ex Back” (and all the other strategies people used to get their ex back) rather than just assuming that should cut and run because things are not going too well at the moment. Hope that makes sense.