You want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back… well, here’s how.
This is Part 2 of How to Get Your Boyfriend Back.
Getting Back Together – Part 2
Tip #5 Initiate Contact With Your Guy
Someone has to make the first move when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back. That’d be you, then.
This isn’t a foolproof way to get your ex back, but as relationship advice goes, it’s not bad: you’re the one who has to initiate contact, regardless of how long it was since you and your man broke up.
And of course you can’t get back together over the phone – you have to meet in person, face-to-face.
So get together for a coffee – or something. But whatever you do, don’t have sex on your first “date”. Discovering each other, and finding out how to get your ex back is a slow process.
When you get back together, no matter how long you’ve been with each other before, things will be different. After all, you’ve broken up, and for many people that implies a lack of trust.
(Sure, you may well still feel fond of him. But to get back together you need more than fondness.)
And having sex with someone you don’t trust is always a bad idea.
And in any case, if it was his behavior or his attitude which caused the breakup, you really don’t want to sell yourself short. You want to know he has changed. Or is willing to change.
So while you can certainly be (sexually) provocative, and you can be sexy and seductive, don’t give in to his requests or demands that you go to bed together just for the sake of old times!
You see, you’re demonstrating how much you’ve improved – how desirable you are. You’re showing how much more worthy of a good relationship you are…. that is a great way of discovering how to get your ex boyfriend back.
And along with that goes a whole slew of behaviors: maintaining your dignity, being polite, apologizing for anything you did, listening to what he has to say, and also respecting yourself by setting boundaries.
In this particular case, boundaries around going to bed – or rather, not going to bed.
And you’re also not going to take anything he dishes out which diminishes you, are you? So if he starts accusing you of doing things which caused you to break up, then you need to step in and stop him.
The focus here should be on the future.
Can you get back with an ex boyfriend or ex partner? Yes, of course you can, but you most likely won’t do it by going over the past. You won’t do it by holding grudges.
Instead – adopt a more constructive strategy of discovering how to get your ex boyfriend back. Perhaps by making your ex-boyfriend want you back.
To that end, even though it is your desire to be back in relationship with him which is driving the whole sequence of events, it’s you who must consciously decide when to take your ex back into relationship.
So, in the context of being better than you were before, you’re going to have to tone down being sexy and provocative. And also you have to show him how different and better you are, and how well you’re doing.
This can be difficult – you might be feeling lonely and abandoned inside, but you don’t want to let him see that.
What you want him to see in you is the woman he wants to be in relationship with!
You need a fair bit of confidence and self-esteem to do this successfully.
And your guy might need time to appreciate the new you.
And you might want to make sure you don’t have him back in a relationship overnight. You need to make him work for it.
And if you do have sex, let him worry about you, and make him work to get you back. Let him wonder whether or not he’s made a mistake seeing other women.
Let him wonder what your motives, desires and wishes are.
In short, make him want you. Make your ex want you like he did in the early days of your relationship.
Like I said above, don’t talk about the past or why you broke up. Ask him about where he’s going, what he’s doing, and what’s new in his life.
If you want to talk about the past, refer only to the positive events that you experienced together.
At this stage it’s best to keep things light and easy. Right now, deep emotional conversations about what happened are not the order of the day. Don’t talk about what you could or should have done differently. This will most likely take you back to the place you were in when you broke up.
No matter how great the temptation, don’t talk about negative stuff.
Effectively what you’re aiming for here is a new relationship.
In fact, you could even see it as a new relationship with a new and different boyfriend. Like I said above, if he’s still the same man as he was when you broke up, getting back together’s probably not going to work too well.
6 How Important Is Sex In Making Up?
Extremely important. At least to your guy. Hopefully to you too.
And bearing in mind how important physical intimacy is, it’s up to you to make sure that when sex eventually happens, it’s going to be absolutely fantastic for him.
Of course that means you need to work at making it good, perhaps even being a bit manipulative as you do so.
Remember the pleasure he experiences with you in bed may have a significant influence on whether or not he wants to get back together with you.
Like it or not, men are motivated to feel love by good sex. So if you can be a better lover than any woman he’s had since you split up (or ever in his life), then you may significantly increase your chances of getting your ex boyfriend back into a relationship with you.
This means everything you do in bed has to be as good as you can make it.
Maybe you already know what excites him, but you might want to try something new. Maybe he asked for oral but you never got around to it. Maybe he’d have liked you to talk dirty but you felt too prudish. Perhaps your body issues meant sex under the covers with the lights off…. well, how about shedding a few inhibitions?
In short, whatever you need do to woo him, to seduce him, and to make him realize in his joy at the moment of sexual climax that it’s only you who can satisfy him, DO IT!
(With dignity, of course. Don’t prostitute yourself.)
That’s the essence of your feminine power as a woman… your sexuality. It is your feminine power which can give you the edge in getting your ex boyfriend back. Truth is, you know how to do this, just as generations of women before you have known how to do it.
You may realize, by now, that there’s a responsibility resting on you to make sex work for him. If you don’t really enjoy sex, or you don’t how to make sex good for a man, then take some advice from a counselor, your best friend, or your inner goddess.
You can’t underestimate how important sex is in a loving relationship – and the better the sex, the more likely that your ex-boyfriend will wish to come back into relationship with you.
After all, if his physical needs are satisfied, why would he go anywhere else?
But how soon should you have sex with him?
Well, you’re a woman, so you can work on the strategies and schemes that women have employed for generations to woo and seduce their men – no matter that he is a “new” partner, and he’s also been your boyfriend in the past.
If this feels like a new relationship for both of you, then you’ll naturally employ all the strategies and techniques you intuitively know about to seduce him and win him over.
7 Don’t Let Him Get Away With Being The Same Man He Always Was!
When you’ve had a few dates, and it looks like everything is going well, and you think you’re going to get your ex-lover back, you need to just pause and check.
You know how, in the early days, any relationship can appear to be wonderful and romantic and loving.
Until, that is, after a few weeks, reality dawns, and couples begin to see each other as they truly are. (This is the end of idealization.)
Well, the same can happen here if you’re not careful.
When you’re building a relationship – no matter that this is a NEW relationship with the man you’ve already known and loved and split up with – you have to do all those things which help you grow and develop together both individually and as partners in relationship.
Respecting, communicating, honoring, giving time to each other, supporting, loving…. and a whole lot more.
If you start behaving like enemies, neither of you is going to benefit from re-establishing a relationship and your reconciliation with your ex will go down the pan straight away. You haven’t put all this work into discovering how to do this, how to get him back, for that to happen.
There are several things you can do which help relationship renewal to go smoothly.
First, make sure you don’t believe you own him (in any sense whatsoever) – and if he behaves as though he owns you, then ditch him.
By the way, jealousy is the clearest sign that a man thinks they have some proprietorial right to you, your body, or the right to invade your boundaries.
From the other perspective, the one thing that disturbs a man more than anything else is a woman treating him as though she owns him, especially by not respecting his particularly male need to protect his personal space and boundaries.
Another thing you need to be doing is making sure that you’re working at the relationship all the time.
In other words, doing things that give you the best chance of making up and staying together.
What does it all add up to?
Well, you need to put in a lot of effort to sustain your relationship. You need to research techniques about how to get your ex boyfriend back. You need to live them. In fact, you need to live to your highest potential.
Only then will you live in a great relationship with your man – a relationship which makes your heart sing with joy.